Alice Munro's daughter and the loneliness of abuse

Alice Munro's daughter, Andrea Robin Skinner, narrates the ordeal of being raped in her childhood in this disturbing piece. Munro is a Canadian author who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 2013. The author's complicity in her daughter's abuse has sent shock waves among the literary community. 

When she was only nine, Andrea was sexually assaulted by her stepfather, Gerald Fremlin. While this disgusting act itself is enough to shock anyone, I was more pained to read that no one came forward to help the child. While her mother, Alice Munro, responded with astonishing narcissism, her father and stepmother too kept mum. A defenceless child was left at the mercy of a monster. She started suffering from bulimia, insomnia and migraines. "By the time I was 25, I couldn’t picture a future for myself," she wrote.

When Andrea finally mustered the courage to tell her mother, Alice Munro, about the abuse, the author had said that "Our misogynistic culture is to blame if you expect me to deny my own needs, sacrifice for my children, and make up for the failings of men." She not only refused to be held accountable in any way, but also remained with the abuser till he died.

Can you imagine Andrea's feeling of isolation when she was abandoned by both her primary caregivers? The well-being of a child is the foremost and the most sacred duty of parents. It means that the parents have to make it their life's mission to ensure the mental, emotional and physical safety of the child they have brought into this world. 

Abuse survivors are often asked why they did not reach out to people earlier, or why they did not seek help. In most of the cases, the truth is that the survivor does try to speak about her/his ordeal, but it's never heard. Even if Alice Munro had not responded the way she did, the very action of her remaining quiet and choosing to go back to her husband would have convinced the survivor that she had been abandoned.

Abuse is a very isolating experience. The survivor is not only expected to keep quiet, but also expected to resign to her fate accepting that the burden is only hers to bear. In Alice Munro's case, her fame brought her immunity to being held accountable. People often take the side of the rich and influential, even if it means snuffing out the voice of a victim of a heinous crime. While the stepfather was the abuser, Andrea's mother, father and her stepmother were the enablers. The child was left to figure out the unfairness of it all alone.

Why businesses should diversify like Niloufer Cafe

As a self-proclaimed tea expert, I am not stingy when it comes to expressing love for my favourite tea cafes. A good cup of tea needs to be admired and written about, just as the old poets waxed eloquent about daffodils and the moon. One of my favourite places to have tea in Hyderabad is Niloufer Cafe. I do not know how they do it, but they get it right every time. My trips to Lakdikapul have always included a quick 10-min pit stop at their roadside cafe that spills over with people even at 12 am. However, besides their consistency at brewing their fare, I have been admiring their business expansion skills lately. My admiration went up a notch after I visited their premium lounge in Banjara Hills. 

One of my most boring fantasies in life is to visit a tea room in England. There is something about tea cafes which makes me feel sanguine about life. I dream of going to one of those place with Victorian aesthetics where tea is served in bone china sets, beside a three-tiered tray filled with cakes and scones.

I got a faint whiff of this dream on the third floor of Niloufer Lounge. The aesthetics of the place were not similar to my dream, but it did make me feel sanguine about life. The seating arrangement creates a sense of privacy through the way the furniture are arranged. The sofas are plush and comfortable, and soft instrumentals play in the background. A buzzer is provided to call the waiting staff, and of course, there is their trademark Irani tea. This lounge is the costliest among their offerings.

I think it's brilliant how they have priced the same tea in different brackets to tap the various economic segments. While the roadside cafe at Lakdikapul sells a cup at Rs 20, the one located further down the road sells it at around Rs 40 because the ambience is better. They sell it at a similar price range in Himayatnagar and Banjara Hills too. 

At the premium lounge, the tea costs around Rs 200. Depending on your cash flow, mood and disposable time, you can decide which offering you would go for.  (Please note that the prices are approximate).

PS: This vintage short movie is set around a tea room at a railway station. The story is great too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LguRis_h1qc&t=243s

PSS: Niloufer Cafe did not pay me to write this post.